I don’t know. I was prepared to wing it, and, while sitting at my home office desk staring at all the tasks I had to complete today, I decided to call the number.
The only information I have is a work telephone number, and I wasn’t even sure that would lead anywhere. Nonetheless, it’s been sitting bookmarked on my internet browser for about six months. I decided to call.
I figured I’d lead with my regrets for calling him at work and my hope that he would call me later. What would that feel like, the call out of nowhere from the brother of the man whose life you tried to save and couldn’t? Whose belt slipped out of your hands as you watched him tumble down the side of a cliff ledge? Would he look around, marveling at the surreal-ness of my voice on his work line, a voice he hadn’t heard in 10 years?
I wasn’t sure, about any of it, but I knew I to call. Someone else picked up. The person I wanted to talk to had just “stepped out.” Did I want to leave a message? I didn’t.
Try again when you are ready my friend.
Thanks for the encouragement.
You’re welcome, Kurt. I know for me journaling, photography, and even blogging plus a lot of prayer and encouragement from others help me in my journey.
I had a meeting with the last person that saw my best friend alive. He played a song on the guitar for me. He answered some questiones for me about what went on that day. It was nice to meet the person that was with her and to know that that person cared for her. It helped me to put closure to things. It is hard to make that call but honestly the person I met with thanked me for meeting him as I was her life long best friend and it was an honor for him to meet me. Just face your fear and do it! The time that you spend thinking about it you can be done with it and you can put some closure to something that is bringing you inner demons…. trust me
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Thank you for the comments!
Thank you for your comment. I’ve been thinking about it and this whole process. “Closure” does seem to be the best word to describe it, although as you know, it’s difficult to imagine an end to grief.